Changes

I love my little girl. I wouldn't trade having her for the world. But I mourn the life I had before. Specifically the relationship I had with my husband. Things have changed. I have changed. And we don't seem to fit together as well as we used to. I guess I've become insecure and needy. And he's not the type to bend to my needs. So it's hard. I think I've cried more over this than I've ever cried since we first hooked up. If I knew before what I know now, I'd still have my baby girl...but I would have adjusted my mindset differently to deal with these new dynamics of our relationship. I've lost what we once had. Just typing that makes my tears flow. But I have to remember, you can't change people to be who you want or do what you want, you can only change yourself.
I'm ashamed of the mess I've become, but I can't undo all I've done, didn't do or said. I just have to try to move forward now and be someone better.
Hey, I'll just fake till I make it in the meantime.
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