Woes Part 2

*sigh* I'm sorry to turn this blog into complaints I've experienced as a Stepmom, but I know my husband wants no part of hearing about it, and I really need to vent.

So tomorrow is SD's birthday. And this week she was by her mom. But all of a sudden SD's Mom called up DH and says SD isn't gonna go to school tomorrow and will come over here for half day, and then the mother will pick her up. She now her mother brought her here this afternoon to spend the night and will pick her up at 12 noon tomorrow.
I have so many issues with this!
1) And this I guess is first and foremost: I HATE the assumption that she could just leave her home with me, and that I had no other plans that she's disrupting. True, I didn't have anything in mind, but honestly, these are my very last few days home alone with my LO and I really just enjoy the precious 1-on-1 time, lying in bed together, loving up, with no one interfering. I hate that no one even ASKED me if this plan was ok, seeing as I'M the one doing the baby-sitting!!!
2) WHY take the child out of school for her birthday?!? Sets a bad precedence. So she just chooses when she can stay home from school now?
3) This "plan" by the mother was supposedly so SD could spend time with daddy on her b'day...but daddy's working!! How will that make sense?!?  That was OBVIOUSLY a piece of crap excuse for the REAL reason for this asinine plan!!!! Which leads me to:
4) THE REAL REASON THE MOTHER SENT HER HERE IS BECAUSE SHE'S MOVING TOMORROW!! I'm sure it's the true reason for this "plan". So why the crap story?!? Why not just be truthful? Ask me if I can take care of her for half a day. Why the stories and lies? I hate those sneaky deceitful ways!!! I would have been so much sweeter and accommodating if she'd just asked. But instead, this whole situation has me riled up and aggressive, and I was very snippy at her, and maybe to SD too. And I'm trying to control my temper now, but she really pissed me off! And I wish I could tell off DH too, cause he helped to put me in this situation, by not giving me all the information, and then by agreeing to the stupid plan without consulting me! If I could have found something to do tomorrow, I would have told them I couldn't watch SD just to spit them all!!
Anyway, rant done for now, DH just got home....

Woes of a Step Mom

I am grateful for our blended family, and for the most part my step daughter's mom gives us no trouble, and we all get along fine. But every now and again she does something to aggravate the crap out of me and I just need to complain!!
I think my number 1 pet peeve is when she brings food for SD, or takes her out to do whatever, and ends up buying her junk food. All she ever buys is junk food, or snacks. But we generally have home cooked meals waiting on her at home! Does she feel that we don't feed SD? Why fill her up with junk?? And then the food we've cooked goes to waste, and she's pumped with unhealthy crap!
I also hate her interfering with how we run our household. She'll call SD up and tell her to do this or that, or ask stupid questions like, did you bathe and have you brushed our teeth. As if we don't take care of her...duh! Of course we're making sure she does all that stuff. Why do you feel you need to call and make sure. He's her FATHER! He can take care of her! AND he has me to help, 2 parents at this home, as opposed to her alone, babying every move SD makes (and she'll be 10 in a few days!!). So aggravating.
And finally, the least of the peeves, but still a big one...why much she come over to visit, or take her out while SD is spending her time with us? We share SD 1 week on, 1 week off...why steal her away from her time with Daddy...and now her baby sister. Forget me, I'm not important even though SD love me and I love her, but to me the most important is fostering those relationships. So why interfere? You have your time with her, leave us with ours!!!

Life as a Step Mom.
I'm not sure I truly have the right to these complaints, but it's how I feel. DH has his own differing complaints about her, and apparently doesn't want to "encourage me" by listening to mine. So I'll save my rant for here.

Breastfeeding Update

To all those Mommas out there who are now starting to breast feed: I know it’s hard, I know it sucks, and it hurts. I know your nipples are sore, and maybe even cracked and bleeding. And maybe baby isn’t doing it right, and you’re frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. But take my word for it…It gets better!

Give yourself 3-4 weeks, and I promise it starts to get better.

I had such a rough start. My baby was premature and her sucking reflex had not come in as yet, so I had to express drop by precious drop, starting first to gather in a little spoon, til later when I was able to machine-expressed into a bottle, 0.5oz at a time, and feed her from a little medicine cup. Finally, by day 5 she got a hang of sucking, and I was able to stop feeding her from the cup.

But it hurt so much; her little mouth couldn’t properly take in my whole breast, so she used to suck just the nipple. Sometimes I was in so much pain feeding her that I would cry streams while she sucked, and I had to count the seconds trying to separate myself from the pain, knowing she’d be done soon, and that I HAD to do this for my little baby.

My right nipple was very flat, so getting her to take that one was always more difficult. And then that one got cracked and started bleeding, and was hell to feed her from. By that point my poor husband, seeing me in all that pain, was practically begging me to feed her formula instead. But I was determined.

I had to feed her only from the left boob, and express the right in order to maintain my supply in it while it healed.
And eventually it did heal one day. But by then she had established the left boob as her favourite one, and the milk production was twice what the right made.

Weeks passed, and I was still miserable but determined to keep going. Breast feeding tied me down, and stole my time, but my little one was worth it. And eventually, the supply in my right almost matched that of my left.

And then one day I realized it wasn’t hurting any more. I didn’t LOVE breast feeding though; I found it messy and miserable and uncomfortable still, but bearable. And it’s best for my baby, so I was determined.

My little one is now 3 months old, and today I realized, I LOVE breast feeding her. I still think it’s messy (she’s a messy eater and pulls away a lot), and it’s still uncomfortable sometimes, and I still hide away from everyone when I need to feed her, too shy to feed in public, but I love doing it. And not just cause it’s best for her.

The bond you experience is so intimate. And the way she sometimes looks up at me and smiles while nursing absolutely melts my heart. I love that kid.
I’ll be starting back work in a little over a week, and I’m dreading being away from her, so I know that those feeding times will be even more special when we’re together again.

I aim to keep feeding her until she’s about 7 or 8 months, but now I completely understand those moms who continue to nurse until age 2 or even later. I don’t think I’ll be that mom, but I understand her better. And I hope to be able to give my precious baby this gift of liquid gold for as long as possible. I’m starting to wonder if I can wean her at 8 months but continue to express til she’s at least a year. We’ll see what happens. But I digress…

As I was saying at the beginning….

To all you new mothers out there now starting to breast feed, I promise it gets better, keep it up. I know it’s hard, but you’re strong, you just had a baby after all! It’s worth it to your baby, and it’s worth it for the bond you share together, that no one else can share. Keep it up, you can do it!

Interrupted Bedtime

So tonight we ended up having some friends and family at our house. Including my mother-in-law. So I made sure and let her hold baby as much as possible, so she had plenty of bonding time. I even pushed back baby's bedtime to be a little later. So finally I took little one and bathed her and did our getting-ready-for-bed routine. Once dressed and ready to sleep I took her outside and let everyone, one by one, say goodnight to her. I didn't rush anyone, letting whoever wanted to hold her. Finally we went inside to nurse and for her to fall asleep.
Tell me why then my MIL thinks she needed to come into the bedroom while I'm nursing and proceed to talk to baby as she's trying to sleep!! I literally had to bite my tongue!! I was very standoffish to her and I think she eventually took the hint and left.
But I had little one tell everyone goodnight for a reason!! Why did she think she needed to come in the room?
And that wasn't the first time she irritated me tonight. She had to make comments on baby's nightgown, her crib, and the way I held her. So annoying.


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Inequality

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. And now I just want to post a complaint:
When you become a mom, everything changes. You're life will never be the same. You focus is first and foremost the new little life you've brought into the world. Sure you'd love to do the things you used to, and try to fit that old life in with the new but really, that never works.
But for DAD! Well gosh darn it, his life is just the same as before!!! Still gets to sleep through the night, still gets to party, still goes out drinking after work...oh wait, one thing changes...his exhausted wife doesn't seem to want sex as much any more...I wonder why??
*grumblegrumble*
Whatever!
Kinda makes me wish I was a single mother! I seem to do everything anyway! I might have more time for myself alone!




Ok, rant over. I love my husband, I'm just tired and frustrated tonight.
Good night.

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